4 posts tagged “joker”

We had an earthquake today! It was my first one...it was funky, and then sort of annoying, because the phones didn't work. It was a 5.8, whatever that means, and the pictures on my wall shook, and the windchimes made pretty noises, but nothing really went crazy. They sure made a big stink about it on the news, though.

Hunter Burgan saved my life.

I've recently been feeling absolutely awful. And Hunter told me that I reminded him of those samurai and ninja warriors he'd read about in Japanese books, who did not fear death. He said that only the real, "kick ass" strong ones weren't afraid of death. I'm not afraid of it. I don't desire it by any means...but I talked to him about some recent things going on, and he told me that I should be a warrior.

It drew me out of a depression. I couldn't draw yesterday, and after I read his message, I produced this:

A work in progress; watercolor and pen.

It sometimes scares me that I'm as dependent on other people that a comment like that can make me feel so good...but the truth is, at least I can FIND solace, and at least what other people say CAN help me. He didn't say "I'm sorry", or "dang, that sucks!" or something dumb like that when I told him about recent happenings...he said what he did. He's amazing.

Some Batsy soundtrack music for you beautiful people :]

I'm dragging myself off of my ass to go to Hurricane Harbor with all of my friends tomorrow. I'm excited...I'm in one of those modes where I don't want to do ANYTHING, but I know if I do, I'll have fun. I just won't eat anything, because the food at places like that is bust. Maybe I'll make something and take it with me...Oh wait, I can't do that. They want me to be a whale.

The Dark Knight soundtrack is great, btw.

Shay called me twice today, and my phone was in another room, so I missed the calls, and I feel like doo doo trash. I'm sorry Shaybee D: Then I called back, on his sis's phone that he jacked, but to no avail. It was late though. I wonder if I woke anyone up and they're mad at me o.o

Ah, fuck. I have two secrets that I'd like to post here, but this blog is public. Anyone can read it, and if certain people were to know certain things, my life would change, and I wouldn't like that, now would I?

I got bored, picked up a Tamagotchi from my collection(I collect them, yeah I'm really cool. I collect things. Like bandanas. And Tamagotchis.) whose colors I wasn't fond of, and painted the Jokermeister on it.

Y/Y?

It's only 2AM and all of my friends are asleep. I want to paint something wonderful, but I don't want to move my hands, and I don't want to move myself from this couch. I hibernate in the summer.

I just added a bunch of people on here. If I added you, I don't know you probably, I just thought you seemed cool, and you seemed active. And I'll probably comment on your blogs :]

Oh and

Yes, friends, I'm still utterly in love. This will not end soon. I am a little too fond of the dear Joker. He's just so me :]

However, yesterday was the big day, I had to go get blood drawn. At least the lab techs lied to me this time. They told me that it would be over quickly. I brought my iPod, and they were drawing my blood long enough for it to switch songs. Maybe a minute thirty? A little more? It was awful. I was bawling and swearing the whole time.

Ignore how hideous I look in the bottom picture, but I had to post it. I had to share my ugly, bloody, nasty experience with the internet. Ughhhhh. It was terrible.

Afterwards, the nurses fed me graham crackers and apple juice. I binged for the rest of the day, and I binged today. Miraculously, yesterday, after a few days of eating, I'd only gained...half a pound! 98.8 is the current weight, probably more because I've been devouring a tad too many things than I should have. The guilt should have kicked in, but I'm a bit too apathetic right now to even care. I suppose that's the Joker in me. He's doing me well :]

Last night I did not sleep at all, and this morning I had to go to the bank to settle out some major overdraft shenanigans. I got charged a big sexy $110 in fees for three small overdrafts from three lovely days ago that a merchant piled up over the weekend, which put me at a whopping negative five dollars. Thank you kindly, Bank ofAmerica. Luckily, I sweettalked my way into recovering $75 of that, but I might as well have set the other $30 on fire, because Bank of America seems to be run by greedy baron folk.

Hmmm, what else has the Lessa been doing? I've been hanging out at the old 'Hattan beach with Kim, first of all. As a result, unfortunately, I now have the worst sunburn I've ever gotten in my entire life on my arse, but nobody wants to see that, do they? ;]

Kimmy's shutter decided to be a retard(Sorry, I don't have a large brown spot on my sternum). I've also been drawing; today I lurked into a summer class at my college and drew from a model. I also did that last Wednesday, and I suppose I'll post. It's nothing to be proud of, though. More like..

...a paper trajedy. On the top is the first drawing, which I like a lot better. The second one looks like....breakfast or something. I have no idea, it's terrible. I wonder how in the hell I'm going to manage to keep a teaching assistant's job in Life Drawing :[

Here are some other, non model-based doodles!

Top one is me, in a window, with my favorite Pokemon(NERD FTW), Dragonair, floating happily around behind. I want to draw a third one to the right of my head before I color it, I think I'm going to color it in watercolor? Difficult, I might just ruin it. The bottom is actually on the right page of my moleskine, across from me, and it's Kim, with one of her favorites, Dragonite! :] She's going to be in the same window, and the windows are actually even on the pages, I just got a bad angle on the photograph, because it's not done, and I'm lazy, and I'll scan it in when I am done. So hmph. There!

Here's some Joker love. That last icon? It's animated, and it's probably my favorite scene in the movie. And we can all thank the lovely ladies of livejournal for these precious 100x100 squares of pretty.

Yeah, I'm a little enamored, yes indeed I am.

But it is time for some respect for the brilliant man behind it all.

I remember the day it happened, I was in my first Motion Graphics class(I missed the first day, so the second week was my first, whoooops.) It was January 22nd, two days before my 18th birthday. I'll let you know that I live in a very, very, very small college bubble. We know nothing. I didn't know that Malibu and San Berna whatever and everywhere else around me was engulfed in ring of fire until I walked outside and the sky was orange, and the air smelled like a big Texas barbecue. I repeat: The majority of Otis College of Art and Design students know nothing. We are too busy thinking up stories and drawing and sculpting various things to watch the news or listen to anyone who knows what's going on outside of our sweet little building.

So there I was, first day of class, sitting and trying to make an amorphous blob bounce around on a screen(I never ended up liking After Effects), when my teacher bounds into the classroom, and bellows:

"Heath Ledger died."

What.

Everyone looked up. That's the kind of news we give a shit about. We don't really care if we're about to burn down. But we're all into art. We're all into talent, or at least the good wolf pack at the school is. The artistic carnivores are, the smart kids are. We love to watch films, and we can sniff out a gifted person like sharks on blood.

We all looked up and said "Wait, no. That's bullshit. It's probably just an internet joke."

Then I got a text from my mom. "Heath Ledger died." (with a sad face emoticon.)

What.

He got made fun of for Brokeback, but I loved it. It takes some serious, serious, diamond-clad BALLS to get on camera in present-day America, and make out with another guy, and get naked, and play the role that he did. He can play ANYTHING. He's not Keanu Ted fucking Reeves, playing the same cocky suit-clad prick in every movie...Ledger was versatile. He went beyond "hot guy". Yeah, he was really, really, really cute. But what. Heath Ledger? No.

His last role was absolutely brilliant. I can't say anything else, really. I think he should get the Oscar, hands down. He lost himself in the role, all I saw was the Joker. I read somewhere that the medicine that he overdosed on was actually prescribed because he was so anxiety-ridden, because he was so deep into playing into the tormented, sadistic character of the Joker, that he couldn't sleep, and his mind couldn't stop running. Then do I even have the right to love his performance so much, if it could have possibly lead to his death?

It's a lot to think about. He was a beautiful man. I had to write something. I had to muse.

To close off, here's a picture of him and his daughter, Matilda, who looks JUST like him. If I ever have a daughter, I'd want her dad to be exactly, exactly like this. Talent and stride. Stripes and happiness.